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Son of a B****, I have been bitten. How could I be so stupid? I liked Vasquez too. He would of made a good cop. I grabbed my laptop with my trusty Alltel aircard and walked through the new rail yard park and locked myself in the freezer behind Tomasitas Restaurant. what a place to die. My mind is running a hundred miles an hour. I keep wondering about the chicken and the egg. Which came first? If I shoot myself in the head before I become a zombie, will I still become a zombie?
Suicide is against the catholic church teachings. They say you will go to hell. Jesus also says he will forgive you if you ask for forgiveness when you sin. I wonder, can you ask for forgiveness and get it before you commit the sin? I have always liked Evel Knievel. I remember he used to say he did not believe in god, that he only believed in himself. Then weeks before his death I saw him on Hour of Power with Rev. Robert H. Schuller, he was getting baptized and proclaiming his belief in god and Jesus Christ. Do we all look to god in our last minutes?
I only hope we have not failed in stopping this plague from taking over Santa Fe and who knows how far it could go. I hope my family is safe. Antoinette, Next year would have been 25 years married. I am sorry I didn't make it. I love you. Take care of our kids and our lovely grandchild. Aaron take care of mom and your sister, you need to be there for your mom and always make sure you are able to be there for them. Its cold, is it the freezer or is it the virus?
To my brother and sisters and the rest of our families, I will miss you and I love you all. I remember I once told Antoinette my wife that I had done everything I have always wanted to do. I really don't have a bucket list. OK, one thing, I never got to jump a couple trucks with a motorcycle. That reminds me of Undersheriff Robert Garcia and the rest of my staff and friends at work. Be safe all. One time I asked Robert If I could borrow his two pickup trucks. He laughed and said, just leave the tailgate down on the second one, your gonna hit it. He's going to make a damn good Sheriff.
I can hear scratching at the door, Damn zombies can't I die in peace? I open the freezer and start shooting. That takes care of another eight of them. The warm air from outside feels good. I need to lock myself back in though, can't afford to turn and be free.
I have been to quite a few suicides, I always wondered what was so bad that someone had to take that route. I guess turning into a zombie should qualify. My joints arrrrrrre stiffining, I donnt know how much lonnger I can type. I sometimes have this reoccurring dream. In the dream I confront the bad guy who is about to shoot me. I pull my gun and try to fire but no matter how hard I pull the trigger it wont move. My joints are reallly getting stiff, can I pull the trigger now?
I guess itss time. God forgive me for this sin. My Glock 357 is cold. It has frost on it. These things ar e suppossed to work in all cnditions. I hope its true. Every one has to die.....
One last thing......